Which events?

So now that my legs are cooperating, I need to decide what events I want to train for this year. I still really want to do a marathon, but am scared to register now because I am afraid that I will jinx my legs. I would also like to do at least one triathlon...maybe Seafair sprint. A friend of mine is going to do her first triathlon this year, so I said I would do that event. What else? I want this to be an awesome year!!! Decisions, decisions, decisions...

First Track Workout

Last year I decided to join a triathlon group and get some help with my running...well, my shins did not cooperate, so I didn't get to do as much as a wanted. Now, post-surgery, I am joining up with the group again. Tonight was the first track workout of the year for TNMultisports and I was so happy to be there! It was a great turnout...the team is big! I was a slow as molasses, but I was there, and my shins DID NOT hurt! I can't tell you how excited I am! I was nervous when I started knowing that I would be really slow and scared that the pain would be back...but I talked myself out of that and tried to relax. So, about 3 miles tonight (1 jogging at a snail's pace and 2 walking) in the books. Yay!

Thanks Teresa for hanging in there with me and my injuries and a HUGE thanks to Dr. Brian Perry who took my pain seriously and kept at it until we found out what was going on. Jogging without pain is a new experience--one that I could definitely get used to!

Here's to an athletic 2010!!

My New Toy...

...I mean training tool :)

Can't wait to give this bad boy a try!! This is a Garmin Forerunner 310xt Mutli-Sport Training Device with Heart Rate Monitor.

11 Years Ago...

I said "I do" to a wonderful man :)

MBA progress

Credits Required for Graduation

Content Requirements	Credits Required	Credits Applied	Credits Remaining
REQUIRED	36	27	9
Total	36	27	9

That's right...9 credits left--three more classes :)

Bad Blogger

I have been a very bad blogger, I know. But things have just been crazy (and unfortunately not in a good way). My husband and I both got the swine flu. Yep. The swine flu. I wasn't tested (my doctor said it was the swine flu based on my symptoms and the fact that H1N1 is what is going around). But, my husband was tested and it came back positive for H1N1. It is unlikely that we had different flus, so I am positive that I had the swine flu. Luckily I got on Tamiflu and some herbal tea from my nautropath and am much better. Gess is feeling better too. He has a cold now and is on IV antibiotics, so hopefully he will get better instead of sicker.

In other news...I went to a CF fundraiser on Saturday night and had a great time. I met a friend of a friend and we luckily got along very well. She is a lot of fun. The fundraiser was a huge success as far as I could tell. I am waiting to hear the official numbers, but I am sure that it raised a lot of money for the CFF!

School is going fine...only 4 more classes and I am finished with my MBA! Can't wait!

Beauty is doing fine...nothing new on her front. She is spoiled and silly like always.

I haven't done anything crafty in awhile and I hope to remedy that very soon! I will blog and post pictures as soon as I do.

I need your help!!!

I am doing a project for my MBA class and need to get this survey filled out. It needs to be filled out by MEN....so if you are a guy, PLEASE fill this out for me. If you are female, please get your male friends/spouse/SO/brother/dad, etc. to fill it out for me. I REALLY appreciate it!!

http://surveys.polldaddy.com/s/D59358266EB1ACE6/

Thanks!!!

Update on my dad and visit to Yakima

It has been just under 2 months since my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I really can't believe that it has only been that long...it seems like several months have passed. I think that is just because so much drama has happened here. Anyway, I decided that since things have calmed down just a bit at home, I decided to make a quick trip over to Yakima to see my dad and take him to his treatment.

He is doing radiation five days a week and then chemo on Wednesdays, so I came for a chemo day. I came over last night since he needed to be at the center at 8:30 am. The ride was beautiful, I forgot how beautiful Yakima can be. I think that part of it is that I have such negative emotions attached to this place. But if I look at it more objectively, it can actually be a rather beautiful place...the city itself not so much, but the drive up here is pretty amazing.

Last night I had dinner with an old friend, and had a really nice time. I miss chatting with her. It was so nice to see her, looking happy and healthy. She was given a "terminal" cancer diagnosis in 1997. So glad that they were wrong!!

I didn't sleep well, maybe it was because of worrying about being in Yakima, or maybe just my insomnia hanging on...so this morning came a bit too early. Thankfully I did have time to find a Starbucks (and the very handy new Starbucks iPhone app that located the nearest stores for me).

I picked my dad up and wasn't quite sure what to expect. He is now on full-time O2 (2 liters). I think that the biggest difference was the weight he has lost...29 pounds since I last saw in him September, 29 pounds that he didn't have to lose to begin with. Other than that, he looks pretty good. I think that he is losing some of his hair, but he is 69 years old, so it doesn't look necessarily odd or out of place.

First stop was blood work, then in to see the oncologist. My dad was his normal joking self when the nurse came in. She was a new nurse to him, so he started out with his joke routine. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard the word "penis" come out of his mouth...but fortunately the nurse didn't seem to mind or be offended :)

The oncologist told dad that he needed to gain some weight (told him that he looked like he could be in a holocaust movie). I didn't particularly like this doctor. He didn't introduce himself to me or ask who I was. He gave us very little information and I really didn't get to ask any questions. He even prescribed a new medication but didn't tell us. He just handed it to the nurse for her to get it. I don't know if this is normal protocol for this doctor or what, but I know that if I were there regularly I would either get a new doctor or have some words :)

Anyway...after that unhelpful exercise we went into the infusion room. This was the first time that I have actually been in one of those rooms. I have caught a glimpse of the infusion room at the Polyclinic several times as went to my allergist, but have never been in one. So, that was an experience. I also realized when I got inside that it was likely the room where my aunt died a couple of years ago. She was diagnosed with cancer and went in for her first chemo treatment and then died during that first treatment. I am not sure why it never occurred to me before I went there.

Dad handled the chemo procedure well. This was his 5th chemo treatment, so he has been down the road before. It was just obvious from some of the other patients that they didn't tolerate it as well. Dad's sister came for a bit and we chatted a bit, and then she went to help Dad's wife set up a new bed for Dad (he can't sleep in his regular bed because of his "wound" from the radiation). Dad slept a bit during, and I did a little knitting. The treatment last about 4 hours total I think. After his infusion was completed, the nurse came by and changed his PICC dressing.

Then over to the radiation suite. Luckily this center has everything in the same building...the doctor's offices, the infusion suites, the radiation area, etc. It is decorated like a lodge with "log-esque" furniture and fake creek outside. A bit cheesy to me, but nice that they really tried to make it a comfortable place for the patients. It was busy and there were many "sick" people there, but it definitely didn't have that sterile "sick" feel. It was quiet and a bit peaceful. Which I think is really great. I wish more medical facilities paid attention to aesthetics. I know that medicine is the primary purpose, but other things are important for healing too.

Anyway...we had quite awhile to wait before the radiation treatment, so my dad told me a bunch of stories. We had been estranged for quite a long time (he was an alcoholic and left my mom when I was 7 and then he basically disappeared until I was 17. I tried to let him in, but couldn't deal with it, so haven't had much contact with him. Some letters, a couple of visits, but not much. But I think that I have finally let go of a lot of that stuff). So, he was telling me a lot of stories that I have never heard. Fortunately this time the stories were not the hard to hear type.

Finally he went to radiation and I picked up his prescription at the pharmacy. The radiation is really quick and so we were able to go home. He was tired, but I think that he didn't want to lay down because I was there. I talked for a bit, but then told him that I needed to go so that he can get some rest. I will go back by in the morning before I head out of town.

All-in-all that was a pretty good visit. But I am definitely looking forward to going back to Seattle tomorrow! Had a good visit with my grandmother too (but that is probably for another blog...I need to get to sleep!).

Great clip!

My dear friend Clane is an amazing photographer (I know, I say this a lot, but it is true!). Here is a recent clip from Evening Magazine where he talks about his charity work with families affected by CF. Watch it!! It's not long, and I know that it will touch you!! Go HERE!

Tune in...

To Evening Magazine tomorrow night (Thursday) at 7:00 to see my buddy Clane Gessel talk about his charity work with families affected by CF. His work is amazing, so evening if you aren't in Seattle or aren't affected by CF, check him out HERE.

Here's a pic from his most recent Shoot for a Cure shoot.

Beauty

(Beauty first thing in the morning...she is such a lazy girl!)

So, we saw the oncologist a couple weeks ago to talk about Beauty and our options. The week before the radiologist told us that the mass was likely a swollen lymph node and that it was the size of a lime (yikes!). Our regular vet anticipated that the oncologist would recommend surgery as that is the "normal" course of treatment for this type of thing. We knew that we didn't want Beauty to have to do through surgery again.

The oncologist, however, did not recommend surgery (presumably because we tried it once already). Instead she gave us two medication options. The first was IV chemotherapy. They could do a total of 5 treatments, 3 week apart. Chances of success are 50-60% with possible side effects being vomiting, diarrhea, and lethargy. There is also a chance of heart damage, which is more of a concern with Beauty because of her murmur and enlarged heart. The goal of the chemo would be to reduce the tumor size.

The second option was a new drug that is supposed to reduce cell growth, which could indirectly cause the tumor to shrink. There is no data on using this drug for Beauty's type of cancer (anal sac carcinoma) and not a whole lot in general. They estimate that it would have similar success rates and the traditional chemo. This would be a pill that she could take at home, but has a higher incidence of side effects. She said that it was nearly certain that Beauty would need supportive medications like anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea medications and that she would be lethargic.

The estimated benefits if either of these treatments worked is an additional 6-12 months. Without treatment, the oncologist estimates 5-9 months until Beauty will be too sick. She still is not showing any symptoms.

So...those are our choices. Beauty is 9 and seems happy and healthy. I keep vacillating between the chemo and nothing options. The pills seem out for me because of the near guaranteed side effects and the less than stellar chances of it making a difference. If she really only has 5-9 months left, I don't want to "waste" those by giving her pills to make her feel sick. That seems to apply to the chemo thing too. So...for now at least....our decision is to do nothing. We will watch and see if symptoms present themselves and deal with them at that time. For now, she is getting extra love. It breaks my heart and I am so afraid that we will make the "wrong" decision, but how do you know what is right? All I can think to do is do what I think is best for Beauty. And give her lots of kisses!

Update on Beauty

Yesterday was a rough day. Gess had a seizure (details here ) and the vet confirmed that Beauty's cancer is back.

From the ultrasound it looks like the mass might be an enlarged lymph node, but the cytology report did not show any lymph cells. Not that I suppose it matters. It's cancer and it's back. We are scheduled to see the oncologist on Friday. The decisions that follow are going to be rough.

We also found out that she likely has Cushings, which occurs when the adrenal glands overproduce. Treatment is generally for the symptoms, but right now the only one that Beaut is exhibiting is increased water consumption. Given the cancer, this is of secondary concern right now.

Again, the good news is that Beauty doesn't act sick at all. She was running around and wrestling with her friend Pomps this morning and then has spent the rest of the day cuddled up with us.

Happy Birthday Beauty!

Beauty turns 9 today! And I am so sad because I haven't seen her :( With Gess's latest hospitalization, she is staying with our friends. When she gets home I am going to give her the biggest kiss and give her something fun for her birthday :)

In other Beauty news, she had her ultrasound on Thursday and was such a trooper! She didn't have to be sedated, which made me feel better. The radiologist said that her lymphnode is the size of a lime and it likely cancer. They were able to take a sample of the fluid in the node and sent that to the lab. We will get the results soon and we have an appointment with the oncologist this week. I think that the appointment is on Monday, but considering Gess is in the hospital I may reschedule (as long as I don't have to pay for a late cancellation).

In honor of her birthday, here's a baby picture of Beauty.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

I turned 32 about a week ago. Yep, 32 :) I really didn't feel like a birthday since it was only 2 days after my surgery. I actually ended up sleeping most of the day. Gess and I will will go out and celebrate when things settle down here.

For now, here's a pic from a birthday party when I was a kid. :)

Recovery

Surgery was on Tuesday and I spent most of Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday in bed sleeping. I had a follow up with my doc on Thursday and he said that things look good. He also commented on how muscular my calves are--which I suppose is a compliment :). Today my legs feel pretty darn good. I have been up and around on them quite a bit and there really isn't much pain. Some soreness and I bet I'd swear if you kicked me in my shins (so don't do that!). I can get on the bike or in the pool late next week! So, all in all, I think that things are going well! (At least on the leg front...the rest of life is still a mess--hubby was just admitted to the hospital, my dog's cancer is back, my dad has cancer, etc....sounds like a very bad country song!).

Tattoo Idea

I am thinking about another tattoo and can't get this one out of my head!  I wouldn't do exactly this, but it is good for inspiration ;)

(image from here)

Surgery

Today was my surgery for the fascia release for my compartment syndrome.  I was a bit nervous I admit--it is just not fun to have to go under anesthesia and go through recovery, etc.  Plus, there are always chances of things going awry.  Anyway, I had to be at Evergreen Surgical Center in Kirkland at 11:45 am.  (Note to self:  seeing a specialist on the eastside is going to mean lots of driving to other eastside doctors!). I got up this morning and kept myself busy with some cleaning, etc.  We set out for Kirkland around 10:45 am and we got there in no time.   

Somehow they had my birthday wrong and all of the paperwork said I was 64 years old!  So, new paperwork, lots of consent, etc.  I talked to the anesthesiologist and the surgeon and got in the OR around 12:45.  I don't remember much...just the doc putting in my IV, the nurse giving me O2 an telling me to just relax and let myself go to sleep, etc.

The next thing I know, I am awake in recovery.  Surprisingly I didn't really feel any pain.  The nurse gave me some apple juice and let me wake up some more.  I noticed that my IV was done and blood was starting to back up, so I let the nurse know and she removed my IV and said that I was doing so well she would send me into the next step of recovery.  I got dressed (note to readers, if you are having surgery, bring baggy easy to put on clothes.  For me, it was a pair of basketball shorts and a tshirt).  We moved to me to second recovery and put me a reclining chair.  The nurse couldn't immediately find Gess in the waiting room and he didn't answer his phone. Of course, he was on a work phone call :)  Luckily he was wearing an easily describable shirt and she was able to locate him quickly.  He came and she went over the discharge instructions.  We had to wait for awhile for the pharmacist to bring up my drugs, but as soon as she did, we were able to leave.

I was still feeling pretty good--not much pain at all.  I had to ride in the backseat with my legs elevated on pillows on the way home.  Got home and got all settled.  It did hurt a little to go up the stairs to my house, but it wasn't too bad.  Gess parked me in bed and got everything that I needed set up.  I feel asleep for a bit.  I keep getting hot flashes, which I suppose is caused by the pain meds.  It is annoying, but could be so much worse so I am not going to complain!

Chinese food for dinner and a chai latte (which during prep Gess burned himself :( ).  Now I am watching old episodes of the Closer (from my blockbuster mail order), "window shopping" on the net, and blogging :)

The doc says that the pain will be the worst tomorrow evening...so not looking forward to that, but also glad that the "worst" will be here soon and then on to recovery!  He said that I could swim and even bike (stationary) soon, earlier than I thought.  So, I am going to use this opportunity to get back into swimming.  Who knows, maybe I will even figure out how to breathe when I swim!!! :)

Pressure Test

I have had some questions about my pressure test, so I thought that a blog post was in order.  The doctor warned me that the test would be painful.  She made it sound like it was going to be awful so I prepared myself for the worst.  The first thing the she did was mark the locations on my legs with an ink pen.  She decided to test by the anterior compartment (which is where I have do much pain) and then the deep interior compartment.  After that she spray on some numbing agent and then she injected me with some lidocaine to numb the skin.  This hurt, but it wasn't too bad.  She warned me that she isn't able to numb the muscle, so the test would still be painful.

After all four locations where numb she measured the pressure at those four locations.  To my surprise, it really wasn't painful.  The numbing shots were much more painful.  These were the baseline measurements.  

The next step was the worse--getting my legs to hurt.  Fortunately it doesn't take long for my shin to flare.  She put me on the treadmill and had me jog for a bit and then walk.  About 5 minutes in it started to hurt like crazy and then she wanted me to go for a couple more minutes and I did.  I hadn't made my legs flare of up like this in awhile, so it definitely hurt.    Then we went back to the office and had to wait for 5 minutes before the rest of the test.  This was the most painful part of the test...my legs really hurt, but it is a pain that I know since I have been dealing with it for so long.  

After 5 minutes she measured the pressure again, which included 4 more pokes.  This wasn't really painful, but I think that it was because the shins hurt so much already.  And that was it.  Bandaids and orders to rest and not exercise for a couple of days.  

One of the good things is that you get the results immediately.  My results were very clearly positive, so that was really a relief.  I am so glad to see a light at the end of this tunnel!  This pain has been going on for way too long and it just seems to be getting worse.  I also talked to my ND and he said that compartment syndrome (especially with numbers like mine) can be dangerous.  So, as weird as it sounds, I am so excited for my surgery!  

Beauty

As everyone knows, my dog Beauty is my "girl."  I love her so much!  A week or so ago we saw what looked like urine on the kitchen floor with what looked like blood in it.  She wasn't showing any other signs that something was wrong, so we decided to just keep an eye on her.  We had to run to Yakima to deal with a family medical emergency (my father was/is hospitalized and being diagnosed with cancer) and Beauty went to her "second home" (our friends' house).  They noticed a bloody spot after Beauty jumped on the couch, so they let me know.  I figured that those two events were sufficient to warrant a trip to the vet, figuring that she had a UTI.

So, yesterday I took her to Bellevue to see the vet.  During the exam, the vet thought that she felt a mass (in Beauty's bum...the site of her previous cancer).  She ordered more blood work and did some x-rays.  She suspected that the mass was a return of the cancer.

Additionally, she noted a heart murmur.  She said that they rate them on a scale of 1 to 6, and that Beauty is a 2.  She explained about murmur and said that it could lead to heart failure, but it could also not progress much. So, it really is anyone's guess about what will happen.

Today the tests came back and the x-rays showed an enlarged heart, enlarged liver, and also a mass near her bowel that is pressing on her colon.  Beauty's liver functions were slightly elevated, but it is unclear what could be causing that.  She also has some crystals in her bladder, but there is no evidence of any stones.  There was blood in the urine sample, but based on the way that they collected the sample, the blood could have come from the collection process.  So, that is not conclusive, but given what we saw at home, she likely does have blood in her urine.  

The vet is recommending that we have an ultrasound done find out more of what is going on.  When I mentioned this to Gess yesterday he was immediately opposed.  He doesn't want to put Beauty through unnecessary tests that won't make a difference in our decision making.  I don't want her to have unnecessary tests either, but I do feel like I want to know more about what is going on so that we can actually make decisions.  

So...we are in a rough position.  Neither of us wants her to have cancer surgery again.  But, we don't want her to die either.  It just breaks my heart to even think about this.  She is my little girl.  

Gess just talked to the vet and says that he has updates for me, but I have to wait until he gets home to hear.  Luckily she is not acting sick and doesn't seem to be suffering.  In fact, she is up looking for her toys right now :)  

Surgery is scheduled...

For September 15th! Very soon! I am nervous, but also very excited. I can't wait to be able to walk/run without this horrible pain!! The surgery is too close to my birthday, but it's a sacrifice I can make!

In other news, I officially rejoined Weight Watchers in an attempt to lose some of this weight. I have gained some over the past couple of months, so I am really frustrated with myself. It sucks. I am mad, embarrassed, and all sort of other emotions. But, as a good friend reminded me today...I have had a lot going on, so I need to cut myself some slack. So...today is a new day and I am going to try to be easier on myself. Beating myself up is not going to help.